Dog Tired

October 21st, 2009

I’ve never been a good sleeper but in the past six or seven years I’ve become a downright bad sleeper. Getting a dog probably contributed (because there have been all manner of sleeping arrangements, from crates to the floor to my bed to under my covers to back on the floor to pacing around the apartment with clicky-clacky dog nails and collar-jangling racket) but I’ve always been a light sleeper. I do not remember the last time I slept through the night and I know those of you with children are probably all, BISH PLZ but I’m just laying the facts out there: I am a shitty sleeper.

Last night I woke up around 4:15 in the morning to the not-so-unusual sounds of Tuesday, doing her passive aggressive ‘Oh, am I making noise? Why don’t you let me on the bed where I will be SO MUCH QUIETER’ thing. She was making a sort of smacky-licky mouth noise and sighing loudly and seemingly trying to get my attention in what I assumed was a ploy to get me to invite her on the bed. And thus a battle of wills ensued.

And [spoiler], she ended up on the bed, because I am weak. But she was still not relaxing, and was shaking and panting and seemed to be having a canine panic attack. That’s totally a thing.

By that point both D. and I were both awake and trying to reason with her; yes WITH OUR DOG. She jumped off the bed and was pacing the bedroom in a total frenzy, which is when D. got up and flipped on the lights. Tuesday was totally spooked and acting strangely and in my 4am mind I decided it was one of three things: she had seen a mouse, our apartment was haunted, she was the harbinger of some natural disaster about to strike.

The mouse seemed the most likely, especially when she started frantically nosing around under my dresser and so D. got on his hands and knees and looked and looked and finally went into the bathroom, grabbed a wad of toilet paper and went back under my dresser. “IT’S A LITTLE BUG,” he said. “A TINY LITTLE BUG.”

Tuesday remained unconvinced that the threat had been taken care of for a solid half hour after that. She paced, she checked the perimeter of the apartment, she panted DIRECTLY IN MY EAR, she whined, she got up on the bed, I got down on the floor with her. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Eventually she calmed down.

At then we dozed off for a brief nap before getting up and getting ready for work. BECAUSE OF A TINY LITTLE BUG. Ah, parenthood.

Entry Filed under: General