Lucky Me

November 23rd, 2009

While I’m not one to necessarily go around claiming that there are two kinds of people in the world, I kind of think there is something to the notion that certain people are just lucky (and conversely, some of us are not). I don’t know if people are born lucky or if they are karmic-ly being rewarded for past hardships but I’ve always sort of felt that there are people who walk through the world with slightly surer steps than the rest of us, and those people seem to encounter a lot of good fortune. When I was younger and much more foolish I might have said that Yes, there are in fact two kinds of people in the world: lucky and unlucky, but nothing is ever that simple, now is it?

I can think of a few people in my life who fit this ever-so-vague criteria, and I’m not trying to downplay any strife these individuals have faced, but from my point of view, their lives have been a little less fraught with drama, a little sunnier, a somewhat easier fit and a little less peppered with indecision. To an outsider, they seem lucky.

I certainly have never considered myself lucky. I have a wonderful life, but there have been missteps and mistakes, misdirection and missed signals. I sometimes (okay, most times) feel like a bumbling fool, doing the best I can and over-analzing every step of the way. I’ve been hurt. I’ve made wrong turns. I righted myself (I hope) but there have been many What The Fuck Am I Doing moments. (Moments? If you listen hard enough you can probably hear those closest to me guffawing at the idea that my WTFAID crisis are mere moments.) I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past few years and I suppose being able to grow and gain perspective is quite lucky, now that I think about it, but I’m not the chick who walks through life with a sunbeam shining down on her always-well-coiffed head. I’m not the happily ever after type. I don’t find a $100 dollar bill in the cab I just climbed into, I don’t stumble onto amazing apartment deals, I don’t win things.

BUT YOU GUYS I DID I WON SOMETHING, SOMETHING AMAZING. I won a contest, a lovely little contest that I read about on Whoorl’s site and which completely spoke to me, and I knew as soon as I heard about the details I would enter, even though I never expected to win. But I did. I wrote about going to Paris at a time in my life when I felt spectacularly unlucky, and now – two years later and a million miles from where I was, emotionally – I am being given something wonderful.

And I feel lucky, sure. But not nearly as much as I feel thankful. OH HEY LOOK AT THAT, IT’S ALMOST THANKSGIVING.

And I am thankful for so very much, including all of the delicious fortune which has brought me to this place in my unlucky, unlikely, sometimes surprising and perfectly imperfect life.

ETA: I’m not trying be to evasive by not mentioning the contest or prize, just not sure how much I can say yet BUT it was a writing contest and I won a trip to Hawaii, so you can see why I am so giddy!! Also, you all know that I am calling myself unlucky with my tongue firmly in my cheek, right? Because this life of mine, I like it very much.

Entry Filed under: General